


I Know What You Did That Summer

by karistiel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Cheating, F/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Suicide, accidental murder, also, i don't know what i was thinking, just a whole lot of pain really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 16:23:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18673246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karistiel/pseuds/karistiel
Summary: They were insanity, desire, madness, lust, and-why not? -love. They were an addiction. A deadly addiction.It was a summer when everything started and it was a summer when everything came to an end.Acting on impulse was never a good choice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, this was something I wrote many years ago when I was still starting this whole author of fanfics thing and is one I am very proud of.  
> At that time, my mind was in a dark place so this is a bit heavy and doesn't have a happy ending.  
> If you are not interested in those kinds of things, please don't read.  
> But if you are I hope you enjoy!

 

**Acting on Impulse**

 

                                                                    

The parchment shook in Hermione’s hand. She was visible terrified with the words written in that piece of paper. She didn’t recognize the handwriting – firm and inclined – and it seemed like it was laughing in her face. She thanked all the Gods that Ron wasn’t home at the moment or he would be making thousands of questions about her inert state, still standing at the window like she saw a ghost.

She needed to talk to _him._ He needed to read that. They had so much to lose with only so few words. Without thinking too much Hermione took her coat, her purse - that she put on the couch mere minutes ago - and left through the door. She walked away from her house and apparated; she felt the familiar feeling of being pulled by a hook by the belly. It was gone as fast as it came and she felt her feet touch the ground right in front of the Malfoy Manor gate.

She had acted by impulse and completely forgot herself. The lights on the house were on and of course Astoria would be home. Draco would kill her if she just appeared there now. She stopped for a few seconds and thought about what to do while the parchment, still firmly in her hands, weight monumentally.

She could ring the doorbell and say that she needed to talk to him about something from work since they worked together. She could call his cellphone, the one she gave to him, if only he ever used it. She sighed, frustrated. She could also send an owl, asking him to meet her in their apartment. That was the best option. With that in mind, she apparated again. Things always went wrong when she acted by impulse. The first time she let herself be impulsive, she had let Draco Malfoy kiss her to oblivion at their last year at Hogwarts; and that brought them to the actual situation. So, bad decisions all over.

She felt like a monster for cheating Ron, for betraying her friends and everyone she loved. But felt so lost without Draco. Unfortunately, she thought that it was time to stop, for once and for all.

She wrote a simple phrase in a parchment that she took from the nightstand; no identification, he could recognize her handwriting everywhere, more yet, the place that he was being summoned to. She wrapped the letter, put it on the owl and watched it disappear on the summer sky.

Summer. She remembered the summer of five years ago. The first time that she ever laid with a man, the first time that she surrendered herself to Draco Malfoy. She was already dating Ron at the time and she spent weeks hating herself for this. She avoided Malfoy like the plague for the next three months, but it took only one encounter by accident for everything to happen again. And again. And again. At that time, they didn’t love each other but the desire was uncontrollable. There were no feelings, but there was an addiction for each other’s body. She loved Ron, she was almost sure, always did, and life with him was amazing.

Her relationship with Draco was madness. It was insanity. It was wrong. It was necessary. She tried to break the bond that kept them together two years ago, when Ron asked her hand in marriage and she said yes, but they ended in bed and with an agreement to meet every week. Every time she stopped to think about it, she felt dirty, but a simple touch from the blond man was enough to make her change her mind.

She spent the twenty minutes, that Draco took to arrive, thinking about her life. Thinking about this apartment she was in now, that they bought together in muggle London, away from everyone, using names that weren’t theirs. She was walking around the room when a loud pop! made her startle.

“What happened, Granger?” he asked the moment he saw her. Even after married he always refused to use Weasley as her last name. It would always be Granger. She appreciated that. She then notice that he was still looking at her, confusion all over his face. His grey eyes finally dropped to the parchment. She just handed it to him and waited.

He read, but opposite as Hermione, he laughed. She looked at him, frustrated.

“You didn’t believe this, did you, Hermione?” he asked. It was few the times that he called her first name. He did that just when he wanted her undivided attention. She looked at him, apprehensive.

“Of course I did!” she exclaimed. She took her hair out of her face and made a bun at the top of her head. She was nervously sweating and have him mocking her wasn’t helping. “This is getting too dangerous. Do you ever thought that it could easily had been Ron who found it? He was going to have so many questions, Draco.”

Just the simple thought of her husband finding everything out this way made her want to throw up. Draco looked at her somberly; he always hated when she mentioned Ron at any moment they were together.

“We _have_ to stop this, Malfoy.” She insisted. The use of his last name made him look at her so deeply that she thought she could drown in his eyes. But she was being serious, as serious as she ever could get.

“We don’t.” he retorted.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Draco.” She said, defeated and sat down on the bed, covered in white sheets and pristine.

“You can’t let any idiot destroy everything we have.” He yelled. He was getting upset ad that wasn’t good, but she didn’t expect it to be easy. She was being hasty, she knew, but Ron’s face wouldn’t go away from her mind and the guilty ate her insides.

“And what do we have, Draco?” she asked. The moment that those words were out of her mouth she regretted it, but she couldn’t help herself. An uncomfortable silence fell on the room around them. She dropped her gaze to her shoes but soon got up and took her things, going on the direction of the door.

“Where are you going?” he asked. She wasn’t looking but she could see his face in her mind’s eye and his reaction. She knew him so well that she didn’t need much to predict his reactions.

“I’m leaving.” She answered, still going for the door. But she knew, the moment that she said that he wasn’t going to let her leave.

Her right arm was suddenly grabbed, Draco’s hand involving it, making her stop in her tracks. She sighed when his arms closed around her waist and she wanted to scream, to put an end to it and go, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t two years ago and she certainly couldn’t now; not after so much time.

She could feel his breath, increasingly fast, on her neck and she shivered.

“Don’t do this.” He asked. His voice was nothing more than a whisper and she shivered again. Her body was always going to react to him, to his touch, and that was never going to change. “Please, Hermione.” He begged.

Her brain short-circuited for a moment, in conflict with herself. He never said _please_ , he never said her Hermione that way, so desperate, he never ever begged for anything. That disarmed her completely. If she wanted to go before, now she didn’t wanna leave.

“Draco…” she tried to argue but he bit her neck, taking away all her concentration.

“I _need_ you to stay.” He begged again and she was done. Draco Malfoy never pleaded, never mind twice in a roll.

She let her purse fall to the floor and without further ado, pulled him by his shirt for a hot kiss. Scorching. She sighed when his hands pushed their bodies even more together and his hands were leaving bruises on her waist. They parted after a moment and Hermione shook her head, smiling despite her turmoil.

“What do you do to me?” he asked rhetorically and laughed.

His hands slid down her back, up the nape of the neck to the bun on top of her head. His fingers went through the brown threads, causing the bun to drop. Her long hair cascaded down her back, the smaller pieces falling over her face.

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?” he asked, looking at her with so much passion. She sighed, her heart glowing. That was her Draco Malfoy. Only and specially for her. She was the only one who could awake this side of him and it was this that she liked so much.

He kissed her deeply, trapping her in his arms like he was afraid she was still going to leave. And he was. He was too selfish to let her go.

Her hands slid down his shirt, opening the buttons in a hurry, making some fly away. He laughed and kissed her again. Soon her blouse was on the floor next to his and he was urging her up by her thighs and she promptly entwine her legs around his waist. Still lost in each other’s lips, Draco took them to the bed, putting her slowly down, like she was a porcelain doll. He took his shoes, them helped her with hers.

She lied on the bed with Draco’s body on top of her and kissed him. They never got tired of the kisses. Never got tired of feeling each other’s taste. His mouth tasted like something between mint, whisky and cigarette and she loved it. Her mouth tasted sweet, like strawberries and when combined with his, numbed his sense.

Their hands wandered freely on the other’s body; they knew each other so well but still, every time they felt like the first. Draco dropped kisses down her neck, her collarbone and then between her breasts that were still covered by the bra. He laid a single kiss on each of them before taking out the only piece that prevented him from actually touching her skin.  A moan escaped her mouth as she felt his lips against her sensitive nipple. In an involuntary gesture, she arched her back, increasing the contact between their intimate parts. Draco moaned. Hermione, too.

He lowered his kisses down her belly, her navel, and reached the waistband of her skirt. Without delay, he opened the side zipper and she lifted her hip to ease the way. Taking advantage of the remoteness, Draco removed the rest of his clothes, letting his cock free. Hermione followed the whole scene as he took off his clothes and awakened her body in an inexplicable way. He was simply divine. She moaned and bit her bottom lip. She needed him, too. _But so did Ron,_ came the thought.

Anything about the redhead vanished from her mind as she felt his thin, long fingers invade her cunt. She twisted over his hand, totally ecstatic. Three fingers worked inside her as the thumb stimulated its most sensitive point. She felt her orgasm approaching intensely. It was so close that she felt her toes tingle, her hands gripping the sheet so tightly she could tear it with her nails. But then he stopped. Suddenly, he removed his fingers from inside her and she whimpered in frustration. Dhr wanted to curse him but she didn't know how to find her voice.

"Not yet, love." Her heart pounded in her chest as she heard the words. For a moment there she thought she might have a heart attack. It was not a declaration of love but it was more than she could hope for at this point. If she were to die, let her die now, happy and in his arms.

He rested his body on top of hers, his arms resting on the sides of her body. Her hands quickly curled into his blond hair pulling him into a desperate kiss. His hand gripped her breast and squeezed as tightly as he could. She bit his tongue at the pain and tasted his blood. She was desperate, her lower belly pulsing wildly. She wanted him as much as she could, inside her, with strength, with affection, with passion.

Insane. Wrong. Immoral.

Madness. Needed. Delicious.

Her shapely legs cling to his waist. She was in a hurry, she had fire, she had need. In a quick motion, he slipped into her easily. She narrowed her eyes as she felt him inside. He didn't move an inch. He wanted her to look him in the eye while they did that. As they made love.

Love. Love. Love.

She opened her eyes and stared at him. His wolf eyes caught her, reached her soul and almost touched her insides. He shifted and she broke her eye contact, closing her eyes for a moment, enjoying the pleasure he provided her.

"Look at me." he whispered in her ear, breathing raggedly as he moved again.

The brown orbs answered his request immediatly. He held her gaze with an intensity that was almost palpable. There was a lot of words in the storm of his eyes and he didn't have to say what it was. She understood. She understood because she felt it, too. She could never leave him for any reason.

The thrusts increased in speed and she felt her orgasm close again and to her relief, he didn't stop. She screamed his name when she felt her body tremble and the wonderful sensations invade her. She still was having the last spasms in her body as he buried his head in the crook of her neck and grunted her name.

Draco's body fell heavily over hers but she didn't complain, just wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He did the same on her waist. Both still had their breaths out of control and their hearts beating like crazy.

He lifted his face and kissed her so, so gently. A calm kiss, tender and full of feelings. A kiss she'd never imagined receiving from him. It was not supposed to have any feelings, but after so much time, so much complicity, there had to be something.

She smiled as he pulled away, his lips inches from hers.

"I love you." he said, the words leaving without permission. He opened his eyes to see her reaction and found her smiling. Smiling at him. His heart pounded in his chest, pumping blood into his veins. He felt stupid but happy. There, with her, everything was wonderfully good.

"Don't make me repeat that." he grunted and she laughed.

"I won't." she answered and paused for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of the situation as she always did. He was still looking at her waiting for something. She loved Ron. But she knew she loved him too, even if that only made everything worse. She shook his head, throwing those thoughts away. She wanted to think only of the moment when Draco had hugged her body saying he loved her. "I love you too." she finally said.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, basking in her scent, smiling against her skin. He was hers and she was his in a way that no one would ever understand.

They fell asleep, hugging, forgetting that it was a weekday, more precisely Wednesday afternoon. Forgetting that they had husband and wife waiting at home, forgetting that they had jobs to finish.

And forgetting what had taken them there in the first place. The piece of parchment had been forgotten on the floor, along with Hermione's coat and purse. They shouldn't have forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Here goes the 2/3 chapter for this story.  
> There's gone be an epilogue of sorts after this, explaining more of their story along the years etc
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, even though its really sad.  
> Thank you for all the hits and kudos. See you all next chapter!

  **Acting on impulse - The End**

 

 

Night had fallen when she opened her eyes lazily, the breath on her neck making her ticklish. Only he made her sigh every second of life, for many reasons. His hands gripped possessively around her waist and she smiled.

She turned slowly so as not to wake him and watched him sleep, their noses almost touching, their breaths mixing. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done this: just watch him sleep. Most of the time it was just sex, a good conversation and they were leaving. But from that moment on, she knew it wouldn't be just that anymore and she did not know what to do. For the first time, Hermione didn't have a plan and that made her nervous. She didn't want to know what would happen after he woke up; she was afraid.

And it was because of that fear that she disengaged herself from him, got out of bed, took her clothes that were scattered around the room with his and put them on. She was feeling suffocated and breathing heavily. Not knowing what to do made her terrified. And she could not think when she was terrified.

She just wanted to get out of there before he woke up and they had to experience a moment of embarrassment or somewhat. She should be happy, jumping with joy, releasing fireworks from the three words he had told her.

_I love you._

But she wasn't because it simply made things even worse. She loved him, she had no doubt. But she loved Ron too. She loved the redhead as husband and friend; she loved Draco only as a lover. And that wasn't enough to change her life and that of many other people.

Her head was hammering and she pressed her temples trying to ease the pain. She felt the tears wanting to come anyway as she tried to stop them. She slipped on her shoes, took one last look at Draco, picked up her things, and walked out the door.

She needed to think so she decided to walk around. She passed the Muggle hotel lobby and nodded absently to the receptionist without actually looking around. Without checking if there was anyone who could recognize her, if there was anyone who could somehow use it against her. She simply passed straight and went out, against the dark street. She started wandering around on the sidewalk with the thoughts of the blond man lying in the hotel room she'd just left.

Draco was married and so was she. Draco had no friends; she had the best ones in the whole world. Draco had no family anymore; she had parents proud of their daughter's deeds. Draco had nothing to lose; she had everything to lose. And yet she didn't understood why she insisted on considering giving up everything for him.

Her head seemed to want to explode and she realized moments later that she was crying. How long it was since she cried? It had been years, probably. She sat on the bench in a nearby park and stared up into the starless sky. It was cloudy and would probably rain soon, but she didn't care. The gray sky was just like his eyes and she couldn't not look.

(...)

Draco woke up but didn't open his eyes. He touched the bed beside him and felt the space empty and cold, indicating that Hermione had left a long time ago. He let out an indignant sigh before opening his eyes and looking around the room. Except for her scent, he could have sworn it had all been a dream and he had been alone hours ago. But he knew better, he could still hear her voice and her words echoing on his head. But he also knew that it didn't change anything.

He slipped out of the tangle of sheets and took a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his pants. He strode to the balcony, opened the dor, and sat stayed there, watching the rain fall noisily on the asphalt below. He lit his cigarette and swallowed, casting smoke in the cold wind outside, letting his thoughts fly away.

What would he do now? He had been weak enough to confess his love for Hermione, though unintentionally, and she had responded. But what should he expect to happen? He still had that damn note.

Extinguishing his cigarett on the window, he returned to his room and took the paper from the carpet. The parchment was slightly crumpled and torn. No one had ever suspected anything, so why this now? He had no such answer.

Tired of staying there, he put on his clothes and left the room. He would return home in the Muggle way, as he always did after his meetings with her. It was almost like a way to have her for a little longer. And at the moment, all he wanted was her.

He left the elevator in the hotel lobby and before he stepped out the front door, a hand gripped his arm. He hoped it was Hermione, but his heart sank when he saw, in front of him, the last person he expected to see. Lavender Brown looked at him with deep satisfaction as he knew that his gaze was showing great surprise.

"Hello, Malfoy!" She said and smirked.

"What do you want, Brown?" He spat and the girl laughed.

"What happened, Malfoy? The Granger bitch didn't wanted you today?"

He arched an eyebrow in confusion but soon the pieces snapped togheter into his head.

"You!" He accused her angrily and she just smiled, satisfied. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Actually Malfoy, I'm doing you a favor!" She laughed mockingly.

"I don't need any favors!" He said with as much disdain as he could. "Stay away from her!" He threatened, and left.

He needed to meet Hermione and tell her that Brown was the one behind the threat. The moment he stepped out the door, the rain soaked him. Cursing a little, he continued walking. Hermione must have been home by centuries, dining with her perfect husband, returning to her perfect life, to her perfect friends. A world he could never be a part of. And he felt an unpleasant sickness every time he thought of it. They could never be together, not as he wanted.

He had nothing to lose by being with her, but he knew what would happen to her if they took that step. She would become unhappy by his side, since everyone would reject her just as they have been doing with him, even after years. He didn't want her to be unhappy by his side, it would be too selfish of him and he was not that boy anymore.

When the cold began to become unbearable, he gave up the idea of walking the streets in the rain and apparated home, but as soon as he saw the silhouette of his wife through the window, he changed his mind. All he didn't need now was to go through Astoria's interrogation. He didn't even know why he'd married her, they were far from enjoying themselves, it was just... convenient. Two purebloods married, to be proud of their families and to continue the long lineage. What a waste.

He laughed bitterly and turned to leave the Mansion.

(...)

The rain was pouring down her head but she definitely didn't care. Se was cold to the bone but didn't want to apparate. She wanted to stay away from home as long as she could, even if it would make Ron question her for long minutes. She still had no idea what to do. She didn't know if he should look for Draco, she didn't know if she should simply pretend that nothing had happened, or if she should move away from him and return to her life with Ron.

It was inevitable that she let out a sigh when she saw the front door of her house. Shivering in the cold, she reached for the doorknob and turned it. The first sight she had was of the fireplace on the left wall and then the sofa opposite the door. Sitting on the couch, Ron looked furious and held a big letter in his hand. The moment she stepped through the doorframe, their eyes met. She saw disappointment in them and hesitated at the door, her clothes dripping on the carpet at the entrance.

He jumped up and she cringed, taking an unconscious step back.

"What the fuck is this, Hermione?" He asked and threw the letter at her, she held it with trembling hands. She wasn't sure of what it could be but it hurt to see him looking at her that way. Like she was an insect.

She opened the letter and pulled out several scrolls from within. Her mouth dropped in shock. It was her letters to Draco. The letters she'd written to him whenever they wanted to meet or were simply bored or missing each other. Another set of scrolls was thrown at her and she froze. Now resting on her feet were all Draco's letters to her. All the letters he had sent her since Hogwarts.

"How did you find that?" Was the only thing she could think to ask and the moment she saw his expression of hatred she regretted it.

"You won't even deny it?" He growled and Hermione took another frightened step back.

"Ron I... I can... explain...", her voice was broken because of the knot that was trapped on her throat.

"I think these letters explain enough."

"No Ron, please let me explain," she begged and he chuckled darkly.

"Pathetic!" He mocked. "You're pathetic, Hermione, cheating on me with Malfoy," he paused to laugh again, "I admit that I didn't expect that, I always knew you weren't a saint, but I didn't knew you were so dumb."

Hermione's guilty tears stopped suddenly and she met his mean eyes defiantly.

"Dumb?"

"I thought that for an annoying know-it-all, you would be smart enough not to fall for him," he continued, grinning painfuly. "But I see it now. He did all this to get revenge on me, because he hates me."

Now it was Hermione's turn to laugh. A very broken laugh.

"You really think so?" She asked sarcastically. "Not everything is about you, Ron."

"I'm sure. And you're probably just another idiot who fell for his words."

"You know, Ron, I should have expected this from you," she started to pace from side to side as if she were trying to clear up something very important on her mind. "A guy with a brain the size of a pea would only be able to think of himself," she looked up. "and to come to the conclusion that Draco seduced me to take revenge on you. Well, frankly Ron, the last thing we think of when we're fucking is you."

Ron's gaze darkened and he walked dangerously close to her. In a matter of seconds, he was holding her arms tightly against the wall, preventing her from moving. She knew it was dangerous to tease him that way, but she was beside herself and felt the need to continue. Just another impulsive moment.

"And I fool you not, he was way better than you," she whispered. "Not only in bed, but in many other things."

She felt his hand tighten around her neck and she smiled.

"And he would never be capable of hurting me," she concluded in a strangled voice. What the fuck she was doing she had no idea, but since the house was falling, she would knock it down to the last brick. Before they could make any other move, the bell rang.

Regaining his consciousness a little, Ron let go of her abruptly and walked to the door ready to send to hell whoever it was. Ron's growl as he opened the door and the voice that came from outside made Hermione lose the rest of her strength.

"Is Hermione home?" His voice was hoarse and drawn through the walls of the house, along with the icy wind- that was there like a kind of omen. A bad omen.

Ron reached for his wand in his pocket and pointed threateningly at Draco. Hermione forced herself to get up and run to them. Ron was beside himself and would end up doing something stupid. She moved closer to him and touched his raised arm, but before she could speak, she felt her body being flung away.

Draco watched everything paralyzed. He saw Hermione approach and then flutter around the room with a jerk of the redhead. It was then that he understood everything.  _He_   _knew_ and he would kill him right there. Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at Ron as well. He saw from his peripheral vision Hermione moaning in pain and touching the back of her bleeding head. Ron hadn't seen this as he was blinded by hatred. Casting a _stupefy_ as a non-verbal spell, he saw the readhead fall backward and bump his head against the wooden arm of the couch, falling to the floor unconscious.

He ran without blinking to Hermione and saw her looking at him with concern.

"What are you doing here?" She asked weakly.

"I found out who was watching us, but that doesn't matter anymore, we need to get out of here"

"I believe it's not a good time," she stood up with his help and coughed.

"I cann't believe he did it," he glared indignantly at the purple mark of Ron's fingers on her neck.

"Well, I said you were better than him, I guess I deserved it," she let out a strangled laugh and he smiled, couldn't really help it.

Suddenly, her laughter turned to despair and she was alarmed. Draco turned suddenly at Ron's heavy breathing behind him. Before he could have any reaction, he was being disarmed. The only thing he could do was stand in front of Hermione to protect her. Ron was totally out of his mind.

"Hermione, get out of here!" Draco whispered to her and she ignored it, squeezing his hand. Ron saw that. Then he let his electrical impulses take over his body and voice.

" _Avada Kedavra_!" His voice came out so firm and strong.

The green jet slipped from his wand going toward Draco's chest. Everything was happening in slow motion for the three of them. There was no time to divert or try anything. Draco closed his eyes and waited, but death didn't come. He opened his astonished eyes and found the scene that would be stuck in his memory until the end of his life. Hermione, for some reason that Draco couldn't register, had come in front of him. The green ray struck directly at her back as she stared at him. The full-eyed, bright brown eyes were now opaque and empty.

Before she began to fall, he held her, their hands still entwined. His heart hammered in his chest and his head was spinning.

"No, no, no!" He shouted at the dead body of the woman.

Ron swallowed and dropped his wand with a low rumble. Draco suddenly remembered his presence there and took his own wand and pointed it at the redhead's chest. He cried, without taking his eyes off Hermione's still body and suddenly he looked at Draco and whispered.

"Please kill me," he begged.

Draco wanted to kill him, wanted to hit him, wanted to tear him apart but didn't. He didn't deserve death, it would be too easy to kill him.

" _Incarcerous_ ," ropes flew and fixed themselves on Ron's feet and arms, making him fall on his back to the ground.

Draco turned his attention to Hermione and bent over her body. But she was cold and utterly still. Draco's heart was so sore he cried. He cried until his head felt like it was going to explode.

And then, determined, he laid one last kiss on her lips, whispered one last " _I love you_ " and walked away. It hurt too much to stay there.

He looked at Ron who was still tied up and looked like a madman, whispering incomprehensible things. He conjured a patron and sent him to the ministry, soon the Aurors would fill that place and he didn't want to be present.

Taking one last look in the room, he saw the letters that were still lying on the floor.

"Brown!" He growled.

Reluctantly, he left the house letting the rain cradle his last tears. For some irony of fate, he found a frightened Lavender Brown peering inside the window. He smiled with pure hatred.

"Congratulations Brown, I hope the visits to Weasley in Azkaban are good," he spat out the words, his voice coming out huskier than usual and broken. Because it was broken. His heart was broken. And he wanted to hurt her because it was all her fault but he had no strength for such a thing, so he simply left her there, watching the work of her envy through the window. Hermione stretched out in a corner of the room, her body lifeless; Ronald tied on the opposite side, whispering disjointed words; letters everywhere and the chimney fire dancing impatiently as if he wanted to get out of there to enjoy the scene.

The scene he would never forget even with an  _obliviate_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me at karistiel.tumblr.com but please don't curse me I promise I'm a good girl!!!!


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here is the final chapter of this story. I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> This is a epilogue by Draco's view after the happenings from the last chapter. It's a little glimpse on their relationship and their life.
> 
> the song used to write this chapter was Follow You Down To The Red Oak Tree by James Vincent McMorrow

_"as the air moves thick through the hollow reeds  
I will wait for you there until someone comes" _

_-[James Vincent McMorrow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=KfoXGKOuOj4)_

 

 

**Epilogue- Bitter Memories**

 

He had become a slave to his own memories. Everything around him reminded her. The glass of firewhisky firm in one hand, being emptied by the twentieth or, who knows, hundredth time. He wasn't living, not without her. His soul had gone along with hers, he was empty.

Astoria was gone after a predictable scandal. Blaise had already tried to get into Malfoy Manor to see if he was alive at least five times but he didn't want company, he just wanted to stay there and fade, until he couldn't breathe. He felt nothing; he was numb. Sometimes he wished he had killed the Weasley as punishment but what punishment would be worse than living with guilt? To live without her? Unfortunately, this punishment the two shared.

He couldn't tell the moment he came to love her; he couldn't tell the moment he came to need her. Maybe it had been since the _first time_. He still remembered as if it had been yesterday.

 

_"I hate you, Malfoy!" She spit as the tears streamead down her face. "I hate you so much!" She continued, her voice weak, showing her state of mind._

_For some reason unknown to her, he still insisted on humiliating her, insisted on being superior, insisted that she did not deserve the magic that emanated from her body, insisted on making her cry. Some of the others changed with the end of the war, but that wasn't much of the case for Draco Malfoy. He could not change, his pride was greater than everything around him, it seemed._

_And she tried. She tried to convince him to be better, to be a worthy person but everything always ended in tears. Her tears, of course._

_He couldn't stop hurting her in any way he could; he just had to do it. Making her cry was his escape valve into the world he'd lived in, it was his comfort zone, the only link to his past life. Humiliate Hermione Granger made him remember what it was like to be a Malfoy and he could not afford to forget it. Until that moment. Until she seemed_  so _tired of him._

_He felt his stomach turn as she leaned against the wall and let her body slide to the cold floor of the hallway. Her sobs probably could be heard all over the castle but they didn't worry, no one should be out of their beds beyond them._

Everything that happened from there was pure impulse.

_He knelt in front of the crying girl and forced her to lift her head to look at him. It was the first time their eyes met. They stared at each other, Hermione's eyes shining from the tears. A lazy teardrop trickled down her rosy cheek as she blinked, breaking the contact. His hand reached for it before it lost itself in her trembling mouth. Again , their eyes met and this time was with a new whole feeling. His hand was still on her face and he caressed her cheek with his thumb; she would have hexed him if she hadn't been so entertained by the storm in his eyes reflecting hers._

_"Don't cry, Granger. I don't deserve your tears," his words came out in a whisper, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear it._

_After some time the tears ceased but the sobs persisted and visual contact was still maintained. That was the moment that he discovered his new escape valve. Her eyes. Her big, beautiful brown eyes._

_She lowered her head again, her body still shuddering from the sobs. His hand stroked her hair and after almost a minute, her shoulders relaxed._

_He brushed back her hair and whispered in her ear "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." He had the damned need to make her feel better. "For everything," he finished._

_She lifted her head and stared at him. She looked surprised and his hand slipped from the tangle of her hair. She smiled, minimally but smiled and he too smiled and began to stroke her hair again. She closed her eyes to enjoy the touch and sighed._

That night, they were just instinct, they didn't think, they just acted.

_When she opened her eyes again, he was so close that she could feel his heavy breath beating against her face. They looked at each other one last time before closing their eyes and letting go. Just a brush of his lips and he pulled away to give her a chance to get away from that madness, but she didn't. The hands that had been forgotten all the time on her legs, reached the back of his neck and pulled him back to her. The kiss was anguished, calm, hesitant and then intense, desperate, overwhelming. Her hand clutched at the blond strands as he rested one hand on her knee and the other on the back of her neck, trying to bring her closer. They didn't want it to end. They didn't want to have to face each other after that, but everything have to come to an end sometime._

_He sat down on the floor facing her, breathing so heavily that his body shook with the lack of oxygen. She still had her eyes closed, tight, as if she struggled not to wake from some dream. And when she opened it again, she only had time to hear h_ _is quick footsteps echo down the corridor and disappear._

He took another sip of firewhisky and smiled at nothing. He was a horrible person and she was still there. She still tried to make him better even thought all he did was make her hurt. But she did it, didn't she? She was always so determined that it pissed him off. Honestly, everything about her irritated him; her intelligence, her insights, her determination, her damn goodness and way to always see the best in everyone. She was the only one who could see the best of him. In the end, she had become the best of him and she knew it.

 

_"You know, I like being with you," she began her post-sex monologue. "It's like you can bring the worst of me out," she laughed and then sighed. "But I'm so myself when I'm with you. You expect nothing from me and you don't push me to be what you expect me to be. Do you understand what I mean?" She lifted her head to look at him and waited for an answer._

_"I can totally say the opposite about me," he looked at her for a few seconds and then stared at the ceiling. "You bring out the best in me and I, incredibly, don't care. You're the best thing that happened after this fucking war. And, ah, let's just stop it. Merlin, you make me soft," he grunted just to hear her laugh._

 

Laugh. This he couldn't do anymore. Her laughter was his favorite sound. He loved it when she especially laughed at him, although he watched her laugh along with his friends in the corridors of the Ministry now and then. Sometimes he'd say stupid things just to hear the sound of her laughter. After her eyes, her lips were his favorite part of her face. He loved to cut off her laughter with a stolen kiss or a bite on her red lips until he tasted the blood flowing down his throat. _Her dirty blood_. 

 

_"Ouch!" The girl yelled._

_"What's the matter, Granger, why did you scream?" The blonde ran in the kitchen of the dormitory they shared._

_"I cut myself," she whimpered. Blood dripped from her finger, staining the white floor, and Draco looked paralyzed for a second, focused on the blood that run down her hand. Red scarlet. Just like his._

_She seemed to notice his mood and turned to the sink, putting her hand under the cold water, letting the blood flow down the drain. He slowly approached her and took her hand gently._

_"What, did you think I had mud running in my veins?" She spat and laughed in disgust at her own insinuation. He ignored it. Her rancor was visible. But he didn't blame her for it, it was all his fault. Years and years calling her mudblood and he couldn't expect her to just forget._

_Then, he touched her blood and looked at it. Everything that he ever learned all his life being refuted before his very eyes. Perhaps it was some childish thing to think that her blood should actually be different from his, but his mind was always a mess and barely could grasp the real (and hateful) meaning of_ things _. She took her hand back and the moment was gone._

By then he loved everything about her. He loved her laughter, he loved her authoritarian way, and he loved her when she quarreled with him. He loved her hair, he loved the thousands of freckles that decorated her face, he loved when her lips twitched in anger when he said something she didn't approve of. He loved her curves, her small breasts, her smooth belly, her shapely legs and her wide hips. He loved her when she trembled beneath his body, he loved her face contorted with pleasure. Pleasure he gave to her. And it was with pleasure that it all began. It was all about sex. It _was_.

 

_"I have a proposition for you, Granger"_

_"Hmmm?" She murmured in response as he kissed her neck. They were naked, one tangled in the other, tired and sweaty. "Spit it out, Malfoy," she said when he lingered._

_"We continue to find each other secretly, whenever we can. What do you think?"_

_"What makes you think I'm going to accept that? I have a boyfriend, Malfoy!"_

_"You also had a boyfriend when we kissed at Hogwarts and the two times we fucked. You're naked in my bed, Granger, don't give me a lesson in morale. And as for Weasley ..." he laughed, leaving the rest in the air ._

_She pulled away abruptly, carrying the bed sheet wrapped around her body. She was angry with him and with herself. She'd betrayed Ron so many times that she'd lost count and the worst of it was that it was with him. And on top of it all, she felt bad for not feeling so guilt. She should have been dying about it, but she wasn't. Worst of all, she was really tempted to accept Malfoy's unscrupulous proposal._

_"Come back here, Granger," he pulled her out of her thoughts. She lay back on the bed and he pulled her to him. "Come on, say yes."_

_"Alright, we're already doing this, what's?" He laughed in contentment. He was sure she would, but he didn't knew it would be that easy. "But I have some conditions."_

_"I'm all ears," he murmured._

_"First, we'll find where I want and when I want to."And second, when I say it's over, you're going to walk out of that door and never come back."_

_"Deal."_

 

The firewhisky glass was thrown against the wall, the pieces of glass flying to every corner and the amber liquid running down the white wall. She'd never been good enough for Weasley. But he knew she loved him anyway and that hurt. It hurt because he would never be in his place someday and she had made that very clear.

 

_"Would you dare to make us public, Granger?" He asked, pretending to be disdainful; he knew he was very good at pretending. He watched her eyes carefully assess him and then divert._

_"No," she replied simply, as if it were a bit obvious. And whether he wanted it or not, it had made him angry. But he didn't show it and he wanted to change the subject right there, but she always had a damn need to explain her choices. "Everyone still hates you, Malfoy. I would lose so much and hurt so many people that I'm scared to think of the possibility. I would never be able to hurt Ron that way. So I'd rather leave things as they are. Would you?"_

_He wanted to answer that_ yes _, that he had nothing to lose, that he had no friends, no family, no one but her, but all he did was to hate Weasley even more._

_"Don't talk about Weasley any more in my presence," it was an order, not a request, and she didn't even think about replying._

_What the fuck was he thinking anyway? They could never have a life together. Nothing but a few dates, conversations and sex. In the end, it all came down to sex._

 

Ah, the damn Weasley! If he hated him before, he wanted to make him suffer now. It was not enough to have married her, to have had her in his bed every night just to fall asleep together. Just thinking that he also touched her made him nauseous. As nauseated as on the day she said she was getting married. He just didn't understand how she could do it. Weasley was despicable.

 

_"We need to talk," she said. She ran her hands through her hair, showing how nervous she was._

_"I'm listening, Hermione," he reached out, placing his hands on her waist, forcing her to look him in the eye. She sighed and brought her right hand up to his face._

_And then he saw. The silver ring with a ruby stuck at the top. She saw where his eyes had gone and suddenly dropped her hands but he didn't gave her a chance to hide. Her eyes dropped to her shoes and he cleared his throat._

_"What is it, Granger?" He asked, almost threatening. She pulled her hand back forcefuly._

_"A ring?" She mocked. It was one of the things she had learned from spending so much time with him._

_"That I've noticed," he folded his arms and stared at her._

_"That's what we need to talk about. I'm getting married, Draco," she blurted out. His expression hardened._

_"And?"_

_"We need to end this, once and for all"_

_End? End. End. End. The word echoed in his mind as he absorbed the information. He could accept the fact that she chose the other man as her husband, but then ending their meetings after years was unacceptable._

_"We don't have to," he snapped._

_"I'm going to get married, Draco. Married" She exasperated._

_"I heard it the first time, Granger"_

_"And you promised, too. Promised that when I told you to leave, you would," she whispered, seeming to collapse. Her hands shook and she looked so much like the Hermione at Hogwarts. Insecure and vulnerable._

_"What if I didn't?" He challenged._

_"Please, Draco," now she seemed about to cry, about to give up what she was about to do, about to leave._

_"I can't leave, Hermione," for the first time in years he seemed shaken by something she had said. "I just can't leave," for a few seconds he seemed so devastated that Hermione thought of going to hug him, but she stayed put._

_"You need to go," she felt a treacherous tear staining her cheek as he watched her._

_He stepped slowly forward and cupped her face between his hands._

_"You don't want it either, I can see it in your eyes, Hermione," he whispered. "Merlin, I know you so well! You know you can't lie to me"_

_She knew that and she was determined to try, but his gray eyes seemed so lost that she couldn't stand the lie anymore. She wanted him just for her, she wanted to be his alone, but she couldn't, there was so much at stake. Everything was so much bigger than the two of them that it was not worth it. She was also selfish, learned from him, she didn't want to have to go on without him. She just didn't understood why so much pain at only_ _considering the idea and she was afraid to know the answer. She knew that someday it would end her life one way or the other._

_But it was what Draco Malfoy was in her life. He would swipe her off her feet with every encounter they had as she was always reluctant to go back into Ron's arms. And that should_ not _happen. The redhead was the love of her life and he was only pleasure. It_ was _. And she didn't know when it stopped being just that._

_He hugged her and buried his face in her curls. He absorbed all the smell that emanated from her in order to memorize. She released herself from his embrace and looked into his eyes. He didn't want her to go, he would be so lost without her, though he would never admit it._

_He kissed her with so much fervor and desire that she lost her senses and forgot all that she had gone to do there. After that, the pain of having her gone at any moment was always there, always in his heart and mind. Haunting._

 

Still, he didn't think he'd ever feel that sense of loss again. That pain. That knot in his throat. That fear. Now he felt it all a million times worse and he cried, hard. Sorrow was a real shit thing to feel.

The last time he remembered crying like that was the day his mother died.

But Hermione was there with him. She always was. But not today.

He was the one who would be with her today.

Two drops of poison should be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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